Crisis? What Crisis?

As published in my column 'The Blog Roll' in the July 2011 edition of SPORTElizabeth.

It was a description I used during the event, and I am going to go with it again as what started out as a somewhat tongue-in-cheek, yet somewhat critical and cynical perception is now starting to appear all the more appropriate. I described South Africa as that friend in the group that is extremely desperate to make friends and to cement his/her place in the clique. That friend (let’s call him Zakumi) in the group is usually abused, as his desperation is taken advantage of. A possible consequence is that the other friends in the clique will often arrange big parties at Zakumi’s lavish mansion, invite all their other friends, take over, make/change the rules, make a mess, rearrange all the furniture, and while doing so, pretend it’s all for Zakumi’s sake and that he will definitely benefit as a result. Zakumi, drunk on euphoria and carefully crafted and well-rehearsed rhetoric, dances with, while being careful not to break any of the rules set by his new friends at his own house. After all, he is fortunate to have all these new friends. Zakumi has a ball. His friends leave, and it is only when that bright, unbearable morning sun of sobriety kicks in that Zakumi suspects that just maybe he has been abused.

Pretty much exactly a year ago, the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa (goosebumps) was in full swing, and we were entertaining the world. We did a fantastic job, it must be said. What made it all the more special was the fact that not only did the foreign (British) press vociferously doubt our ability, but, if some of us are honest enough to admit it, more than half of South Africans were mumbling their fears and doubts under their breaths at bar counters across the country. “It’s going to be the biggest flop of the century, you wait and see,” is what one particular gentleman said to me one night. I have since spoken to that person, and yes, I could not resist the old, “I told you so!”

So, we’ve established that we as South Africans did ourselves proud, but what concerns me is that our ‘friends’ might not have entirely honoured their part of the deal. I am of course referring to the big FIFA scandal that has recently rocked world football. In saying this, I think I do probably owe the English FA and its media an apology so here it is: “I am sorry I called you all childish, arrogant and petulant poms when you cried foul as soon as Qatar was awarded the hosting rights for the 2022 FIFA World Cup.” There, I said it. If you’ve even happened to glance at a sports page during the past month or two, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about here.

A long story short: It has come to light that there is (and possibly always has been) serious corruption within the ranks of FIFA, involving accusations ranging from money laundering, illegal ticket selling and of course, bribery and corruption in form of the sale of votes. It was revealed a short while ago that Issa Hayatou from Cameroon and Jacques Anouma from the Ivory Coast received bribes of 1.5 million dollars to vote for Qatar's 2022 bid. Meanwhile, Lord David Triesman, the chairman of England's 2018 bid until his resignation in May last year, accused four FIFA officials of ‘improper and unethical’ behaviour ahead of last December's vote in Zurich. The rot doesn’t stop there. Sepp Blatter’s only opposition in the recent FIFA presidency election, Mohamed Bin Hammam allegedly also tried to bribe officials to vote for him. Britain’s Press Association also reports that there is ‘comprehensive, convincing and overwhelming’ evidence against the head of the Asian Football Association, Hammam, and that former FIFA vice-president Jack Warner was an accessory to corruption.

What’s happened now is that (surprise, surprise!) Sepp Blatter was re-elected unopposed for his fourth stint as FIFA president, and (surprise, surprise!), Blatter has vowed to clean up FIFA. Warner has resigned from his position and ended all involvement with football. As a result (surprise, surprise!), FIFA has dropped all investigations into the Trinidadian, who now (allegedly) has enough money to relocate to the moon. It seems Warner will never have to answer any questions. That is very, very convenient for FIFA.

Personally, I don’t trust one of them, and without saying too much, I feel a clean-out of FIFA is not possible until Blatter is scrubbed out of his position too. FIFA needs to be completely disbanded and a whole new organisation created if the credibility of world football is to be restored. The story is much longer and more involved than what I am able to narrate in this short space, but I urge you to do some research in order to get more of the story. There is even evidence of an email sent by (our friend) FIFA Secretary-General Jérôme Valcke, implying that Qatar had in fact bought the rights for the 2022 World Cup. Go check it all out. It might or might not shock you. Me? I wasn’t very shocked at all.

So, how does this affect South Africa? Well, firstly, we are unable to look back at the 2010 World Cup without wondering in what way we were robbed by FIFA. Or, was South Africa awarded the 2010 World Cup fairly, or did someone somewhere promise something? How much money (if any) did we pay to host the spectacle? One cannot help posing these questions now, and it leaves a bitter taste. BBC reporter, Neal Collins, who has been extensively investigating and reporting on the FIFA scandal, is convinced Sepp Blatter and his gang took far more out of South Africa than what they should have. Speaking in the KFC Sports Cage on Algoa FM last month, Collins said as part of the World Cup deal, South Africa had to sign an agreement with FIFA that it may freely move undisclosed foreign currency around the country. Collins says he believes FIFA took full advantage of this, and claims to have seen documents that indicate FIFA grabbed approximately 10 billion dollars out of its rendezvous with South Africa. Let’s even halve that, and work out how many South Africans we can feed, house, employ and heal.
That’s a summary of the ongoing saga at FIFA, and it amazes me how Blatter is allowed to remain so nonchalant about it all. “Crisis? What crisis?” is what Blatter said a day after Hammam and Warner became the third and fourth of FIFA’s 24 most senior members to be suspended over corruption allegations in the past six months.

To end on a good note, it has been reliably confirmed that Zakumi is doing well. Shortly after the 2010 World Cup, he was lucky enough to join Algoa FM journalist, Bennie Visser on a cruise to Europe where I hear they got up to all sorts of mischief. Well, not the level of mischief we’ve been discussing here of course, but there are rumours of a very long and foggy trip in Amsterdam. Crisis? What crisis? According to Bennie, Zakumi is doing just fine.

(PS: Ok, I did apologise, but give me some credit here. The poms are (sometimes) childish, arrogant and petulant. Exhibit A: Stuart Broad.)